The cool kids opt out

One of the books that has had the biggest impact on my life is a book titled “Essentialism – The disciplined pursuit of less” by Gregory Mckeown. He talks about how humans have been conned into thinking that amassing more and engaging in more activities leads to a happier life. His argument is very convincing and encourages us to opt out of things that are not essential to our happiness.

I lent the book to a colleague who was going through a difficult time professionally and she decided to resign soon after. She had realised that since she had been promoted her life had actually become worse off. Her health had deteriorated, she was always stressed and working around the clock like the company owned her. She now works somewhere else, has a shorter commute to work and is back on the road running. The only tradeoff being that her new employer is somewhat less globally recognised and prestigious on her CV. She is many times happier though.

McKeown talks about a concept called “JOMO” which is “The Joy of Missing Out”. The joy in saying no to everything that is not essential. Not attending every event, not hurrying to answer every email. It’s a wonderful concept. I’ve noticed that many of today’s younger generations seem to opt out what was considered automatic or normal for most of the time that I have been alive.

A college education is greatly desired, but not seen as imperative for success. Working for someone (getting a job) not that important if you can find an activity that will sustain you while you do something you are really interested in. Owning a vehicle a luxury due to the fact that via UBER you can safely get anywhere you want. Owning a house unnecessary because I am not really sure where I will want to live in 6 months time let alone next year.

If its conventional then it means they can opt out of it. While there are pros and cons with this approach to life I would like to focus on the pros of opting out. I feel that many of my generation have been suckered into commitments that seemed normal or conventional that are actually bad for us.

For example, the responsible conventional thing would be to start working and contribute to a retirement annuity or pension plan in the hope that there would be enough stashed away one day to retire with at age 60. Depending on the skills and integrity of the person tasked with managing that money that outcome was never guaranteed.

The new thinking is for people to opt out of that world entirely and invest for themselves so they can achieve financial independence way before the age of 60. This may mean, never owning a house or a car or a Tag Heuer watch, but using that money instead to be able to retire at age 40 in Turkey. Please see this article on how to retire in Turkey for R13000 per month at age 40.

I was recently introduced to the concept of “funemployment” where people deliberately give up their jobs in order to engage in some aspect that gives them joy. Some may travel, some may start a family. Some take on low paying part time jobs that allow them to put food on the table but give them the flexibility of pursing a different passion. To someone like me who has massive financial obligations to my family being “funemployed” feels like a very high risk strategy (which it is for me). However, for many of today’s younger generations it really is just another option.

Another example of the cool kids opting out is attitudes towards careers. The days where people wishing to get ahead would spend personal time working from home or on weekends to impress the boss are long gone. In my small circle of acquaintances I know of people blogging, doing podcasts, art, charity work, sports and solo travel in their spare time. I even have a friend who reads over 100 books per year. They opt out of being employed and opt in to the things that actually give them joy at every opportunity. Any boss who thinks that their email sent on a Friday afternoon is that important is unfortunately mistaken.

So where does this leave us? I guess my message today is that I am noticing the trend that many people are being more deliberate with regards to the direction their lives take. Default options have been removed. Be sure to make sure that in your own life there is no default setting holding you back too. Think hard about which decisions you have made because you know or were told that it is the right way or the best way. What nonsense can you opt out today that would give you immediate pleasure and long term joy. Be like the cool kids. You are allowed to say no.