On June 29, 2023, my mother passed away at the age of 66 due to a sudden illness. Like anyone who has lost a loved one, the entire experience was traumatic, and I struggled for days to find some meaning in it. It is likely that, even years later, I will still be unable to fully comprehend and process this loss, but we continue, living one day at a time, as the cliché goes. What struck me profoundly was the sheer number of people who came out to mourn and support the family, each with their unique story of how my mother had impacted their lives. This made me reflect on the common themes I observed in how people experienced her leadership. In essence, she led through love, humility, and empathy, with love being the most paramount.
1. Humility
My mother possessed exceptional intelligence and talents in various areas. Despite growing up as an orphan under challenging circumstances, her uncles persuaded a local Catholic mission to enroll her in high school due to her evident intelligence. She graduated with top grades and pursued a college education in environmental health. Given the significance of environmental impact on our society today, I have no doubt that she could have built a highly successful career. However, she chose to focus on raising her children and being a supportive wife. Many times, she was the smartest person in the room but deliberately allowed others to take the spotlight.
2. Connection
My mother had a remarkable ability to connect with people from all walks of life. Regardless of wealth, education, or social status, she made everyone feel valued. This was evident at her funeral, where St. Theresa’s Cathedral in Gweru was filled to capacity with mourners. I had attended Mass there for over 20 years and had never seen it so full. Everything about my mother conveyed the message that people mattered. It was heartwarming to hear how many individuals had their own stories of how my mother had touched their lives, many of them experiencing as much grief as we did as family members. Despite being an introvert, she maintained a deep connection with each family member, always aware of what was happening in our lives.
3. Consistency
Growing up, my siblings and I often caused my mother stress in various ways. With five people in the house ranging from 7 to 22 years old, each at different stages of growth and development, we had our share of teenage tantrums, sulking, and sibling rivalry. Yet, her demeanor, behavior, and attitude towards us never wavered. No matter how poorly I might have treated her in the morning, she still greeted me with a smile in the evening and affectionately called us all “Darling.” Her love and care were unwavering.
4. Selflessness
Every day, my mother dedicated herself to serving others. Whether it was preparing meals for my father, praying for us, assisting workers in their tasks, or volunteering at church, her joy came from witnessing other people’s success and well-being. Her daily routine often involved visiting the local market with her agricultural products. Some days, despite making few sales, she would contact people and give away her produce, often on credit without any intention of reclaiming the money. She simply wanted to help provide food to a hungry family.
In summary, my mother was the best human being I have ever known. She embodied love for all people and goodness in its purest form. I genuinely hope that as my life progresses, I can emulate her and leave a similar legacy on all who have had the privilege of knowing her.
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